Four boys.

Written 3-7 October 2015

My Baby Boys

            Well I survived twin pregnancy.  The past 2-3 weeks with such a huge belly was hard!  But as I got approval from my OB to induce at 38 weeks (instead of 37) the relief of an end in sight was really feeling good; though not real.

            So Monday this week I got a manicure, courtesy of Tara.  Tuesday I got my hair cut at a salon, for the first time in over 2 years.  Wednesday I saw the chiro for one last adjustment to help turn baby B (Davey).  That night my girlfriends and I had a movie night and I was extremely uncomfortable throughout.  Monday the 5^th (induction) seemed so far!

            Thursday was my last Maternal Fetal Medicine appointment at 9:30am.  I decided earlier in the week to start doing my hair and makeup daily to be ready for go time.  So I got ready, and had the thought to grab my hospital bag too, but I didn’t.  After the ultrasound my tech, Mary, said B’s heart rate was having decelerations and she’d go talk to the Dr.  “Maybe he wants to monitor…” she said.  This is what caused me to be induced with Wade, so it was familiar territory.  Then, when she took a while to come back, I felt like for sure they were going to have me do something.  Mary returned with the Dr, and nurse and the Dr said immediately “Hi, how are you, looks like you’re having the babies today.” Very abrupt and quick.  They asked if I knew how to get over there and pushed me out the door.

            Perris decided to start parternity leave THAT day, but had one meeting to attend.  I called him, no answer.  Called my Mom, Tara; no answer.  Called Cami and gave her the news.  Then Tara called back and I gave her the news.  Then Perris called.  I was shaky—here it was!  I was actually having the babies.  I checked in at 10:30am.  They quickly got me set up and on IV fluids.  I was there alone for 1 hour before Perris and Alex arrived, who was taking pictures for us.

            At the time, we knew B was head down.  My OB, Dr Toft, came in and said we’d start low dose of Pitocin and then break my water (A’s) in about an hour.  She and I agreed it was likely move fast.  Pitocin, even at low doses of 2 and 4 was just like I remembered.  NOT FUN.  I was already almost 4cm dilated and having my own contractions.  They told me to let them know when I was ready for an epidural.  Once the contractions came stronger I was remembering what theyre like and feeling lots of anxiety about what came next.  I also felt nervous about getting an epidural, but ultimately, wanted to get one.  I called them in to say “pump the fluids in!” so I’d be ready for the anesthesiologist.  It seemed fast and soon enough the man arrived. 

Let’s just say sitting on the edge of the bed, legs spread so my tummy could come down as I arched my back and put my head to chest, all while staring at my fat ankles’ circulation being cut off from the ugly hospital socks AND having a few deep contractions with my backside completely exposed was NOT the most feminine-feeling moment of my life.  Yet there I was, doing the most womanly thing possible of giving birth. Funny.

They laid me down for the epidural to work with gravity and that was oh so uncomfortable…UNTIL the warm, tingly sensation started down my body.  Oh MAN, I was loving life.  I kept saying “Wow, I feel so great right now!” and “This is SO awesome!” and “I’m totally present!” and finally “We are having our babies!  This is so exciting!!” (Things I'd certainly never had clarity of mind to say in previous non-medicated births. Those were all focus and concentration. Eyes shut the entire time!)

My nurse, Carlie, checked me after a while and I was 7cm.  So she smiled and said it wouldn’t be long and to let her know when I felt pressure.  That wasn’t easy.  I was on my side, with a towel rolled up between my legs to catch the water still leaking out and I kept needing to move the towel to figure out if I was feeling pressure.

What I didn’t know about an epidural was that I could still feel my legs and feet AND move/control them!  They felt tingly.  I really appreciated that! 

They kept asking if I was feeling pressure but I wasn’t sure.  Then I got the shakes.  Carlie came in and checked me and looked right into my eyes and excitedly said, “It’s time!” I couldn’t believe it!  I looked right into Perris’ face and repeated Carlie’s words and immediately felt a rush of emotion and started crying.  What a moment! It was really special.  I love Perris.  I felt so grateful to be having this family with him.

They put a scrub hat on my head and rolled me into the Operating room while Perris and Alex got into full scrub get-ups and hats.

In the OR they helped me over to the very narrow steel table and my legs were in harnesses that basically went straight into the air.  Talk about full exposure.  I watched people buzz around and heard the click of Alex’s camera, but I was surprised there weren’t more people in there.  Nor was there an assisting OB, as previously discussed with my OB.  BUT I was calm and still, and my eyes served me well in taking in everything around. 

Carlie was on my left side, Perris on my right.  Alex moving around the room.  3 or so minutes after enetering the OR Dr Toft says “Ok, with this next contraction, give me a push!”  (Perris says Thomas’ head was right there already)  So I pushed and after the second one Carlie said, “Want to touch his head? Reach down!” I did! That was awesome.  One more push and out came our Baby A, sweet Thomas (who at the time was not immediately determined to be Thomas).  And he sure came out hollering…AND peeing! Haha!

They placed him right on my tummy and I got to admire the fresh babe!  I remember Dr Toft saying we had some time before baby B—no rush.  Soon, however, the tone in the room changed.  I was holding Thomas but was still super shaky so someone asked if I wanted them to take him.  I said yes, as I was also becoming concerned watching Dr Toft and hearing her belt out instructions.  Something was not right.  My eyes watched each face carefully, reading their change to seriousness and concern.  Some things were heard about heart rate, his hands are up by his face…Dr T needed “toning” (Pushing on my stomach)…she obviously became increasingly concerned and things escalated quickly.  “Where is anesthesia?”  “Okay, we are really going to try here, but if not…”

Alex was asked to leave the room and I knew this only meant an impending c-section to get B out.  I didn’t ever want that, but at this point all I cared about was my baby.  OH, how I prayed.  The spirit was close, as I felt completely calm throughout all of this.

FINALLY, Dr Toft said she was going to use the vacuum and “if not…” this was the last attempt before c-section.  Things were moving quickly.  Nurse Carlie had full body weight on my stomach…water BURSTS everywhere (I’m not exactly sure when this happened, but amidst all this commotion).

Dr Toft says, “Ok I need you to PUSH WITH EVERYTHING YOU’VE GOT”.  I took a deep breath and answered in my mind “OH YOU BET I’m going to.” I just PUSH and PUSH and PUSH and never stop thinking about anything but “PUSH HIM OUT; COME ON, BABY!”  I’m told to “STOP!” The cord is around his neck and then cut and I don’t remember if I pushed one more time, but out he came.  In silence.

I watched a nurse grab my blue/purple baby and whisk him over to his incubator.  A group gathers around him…and I cannot see him.  Dr Toft was visibly relieved when he came out, but was obviously not fully relieved as she gave baby to the nurse.  Quiet.  Everyone.

My eyes take me to Perris, who towers above the attending women and can see what is happening.  He is concerned and serious, and not moving his eyes off that baby. 

I am praying.  Praying so hard it’s almost coming out aloud.  “Oh, God! Please let my baby be okay”  Such a desperate, painful plea I had never before spoken.

 A short time goes by—10seconds maybe and we all hear a cry.  An audible sigh of relief fills the room, along with congratulatory words to all for the safe arrival of our Davey.

Carlie and Dr Toft are high-fiveing and telling me “great job” but I’m like “I didn’t do much!”  That’s what it felt like—everyone was totally focused and determined to get my baby here and I felt like a bystander!  I am so grateful to all of them forever.

My mind quickly remembers Alex has left and I yell “Someone go and get Alex!” so she wouldn’t miss any more moments to capture with the camera! (Which are gorgeous and I’m so grateful to her as well for capturing these heavenly moments!)  She was back in a flash and soon we were rolling back to the room where we’d stay for 2 hours then head to Mother Baby floor.  Perris and I enjoyed some quiet moments with each babe…I nursed..and it was just a beautiful time.

Then Susan shows up with the big brothers! Hank marched right in with his cowboy boots and was taking it all in, peeking around and curiously friendly.  Wade was very hesitant and took 10-15 minutes to start talking to even Perris or me.  He needed some observation/warming up time.  Pretty soon he was standing by my bed asking questions as he danced his notorious hip-thrusting dance.  What a goof ball.

Pretty soon it was time to head upstairs and Wade and Hank got to go up with Perris, getting “big brother” wristbands along the way, much to their delight! (I write this on 10/7 and Wade is still wearing his.  Hank lasted 12 hrs before wanting it cut off)  We visited a while, said goodbye to our awesome nurse Carlie, ate cheesecake that Alex brought back as a gift after leaving…

Two nights in the hospital were plenty. 

The effects of twin pregnancy:

Swelling beyond belief.  The 2^nd night in hospital I woke up and went to potty, saw my face (!!!!) and couldn’t believe it.  SO “Swole” as Perris kept telling me.

My abdomen felt like it’d been punched.  Ouch.  I’ve been wearing an abdominal binder, but my muscles feel like they’ve been ripped apart and it’s just a bowl full of jello.  Like jolly Old St Nick.  Hard to imagine it will go back!

Nursing—started tandem feeding from the get-go.  I’ve dripped like 3 drops of milk.  Usually I’m a leaky faucet at the breast these first weeks, but the supply/demand is more equal this time.  Tandem nursing is quite the art!

Well.  4 little boys are ours.  What a joy.