My Twins
This is what I wrote in my journal the day I found out about my little babies.
17 March, 2015. Tuesday
Well. I'd not lie and say I'm not one to worry. I certainly am. Honestly with each pregnancy I've worried while Perris joked that we are having twins. But this time around the worry has been different.
First, I felt like my abdomen has already been expanding (I'm 9 weeks, 3 days), but chalked it up to it being my third pregnancy. And bloating.
Then, I found my dream birthplace. Having always used midwives and having non-medicated births, moving to Minnesota and having birth centers covered by insurance was AWE-SOME--and I was so excited about this one. Perris and I toured the facility last Wednesday and it was very nice. Immediately I saw they don't take multiple pregnancies on their handout and casually mentioned it to Perris with a wink. Finishing the tour (and seeing how significantly cheaper a pregnancy/birth here were), I just felt completely indecisive and left telling Perris, "I Just don't know...." I waited two days and decded that I could just make an appointment and see how it goes. Friday I called but they told me my insurance number was coming up invalid. I asked if I could call back later once I double checked the number (my internet wasn't connecting while on the phone with them), and they said "sure" but were closing and open Monday morning. Well, I checked that number Saturday and it was correct (!!??) So all weekend I worked and wondered why I felt so hesitant about this! I had even, the week before, asked friends what OB office they go to, called each one (and the hospital) for estimates on what they charge and knew going with an OB & hospital would be a significantly larger bill than dream birth center (+$10,000). And I mean, I compare which orange juice is cheaper bc I ain't got no extra $$.
Finally, Sunday I prayed and explained how I was feeling so hesitant and needed some peace with this decision. I felt more comfortable going to an OB, which was confusing. Monday morning, my eyes open and I think "Calling the OB feels best." So I called and appointment was made for Tuesday.
Twins have been on my brain. I made a jeopardy game for Relief Society and one question was to name 3 twins in our ward which ABOUNDS in twins...I stayed up late reading about twin births/pregnancies of women I don't even know on instagram...My sister has said "You know, either you or Lynds are going to have twins"...My friend calls me and casually says, "I was thinking 'why haven't one of those Whicker girls had twins yet?"...THIS MORNING I LOOKED UP HOW TWINS ARE FORMED...I mean--obsessed!
This, of course, has been accompanied by many self-talks of, "Ali. The likelihood of you having twins is so small. It's probably not happening." Over and over.
My mind hasn't really listened.
So today as I prepped for this appointment feeling like something either A. had to be wrong or B. I was having twins...But this morning I also prayed that I would receive comfort or something about the worry I was feeling. I sat down o read my scriptures 20 minutes before the we left the house for the babysitter/appointment. 3 Nephi 13: 25-24.
Somewhere between v 25-26 ("...Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on...Behold the fowls of the air, for they sow not, neither do they reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them Are ye not much better than they?") I started crying. I knew what was coming next. Here was this sweet, tender mercy, telling me that He will take care of us. He will provide--we seek Him FIRST. I finished and felt grateful for such a peaceful perspective setter before I left for what I really didn't know (But felt something) would be a life-changing afternoon.
Perris arrives with me at the office but had to take a work call before he could join. The ultrasound tech comes to get me and I tell the ladies to please let my husband join me when he arrives. I go back, lay down, jelly on belly, and once the wand is out, my eyes are glued to that monitor. I'm waiting to see what is in store!
She puts that stick straight down and I immediately see two blurbs and start to speak, but stop when she moves it to black space. I didn't want to react too soon to the confirmation of my worry. Then she's back to those two blurbs and she says, "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" WELL my mouth opened to respond and didn't shut for the next 1.5 hours that I was in that office. "YES!! OH MY GOSH!"
"I KNEW I was having twins!!?
"I can't believe this!"
"I can't wait to tell my MOTHER!"
"I was just about to ask you how often you find twins"
"OH MY GOSH!"
"THIS IS SO FUNNY!"
"I can't BELIEVE IT!"
"Hello, Sweet babies!!"
(my voice is getting louder and louder)
2 minutes pass and the door opens. I turn and yell, "PERRIS THERE ARE ACTUALLY TWO!!!!!"
His eyes pop and he says "No Way!! Are you serious!" (And that was the extent of P's reaction. He returned to his cool-as-a-cucumber normal self quickly). The door was still open as I'm yelling this. Everyone heard.
I'm told: Identical twins. Twin B measuring 9weeks; 178 heart rate. Twin A measuring 8w6d; 168 heart rate. "They look really good"
She gives us 3 photos and we head back to the waiting room to wait for the nurse to get my medical history. I look at the 2 receptionists and say, "We are having twins and you're the first to know!" And I did not shut up for the 10 minutes we waited. There was one other lady in the waiting room with us and I said, "I'm sorry, but I cannot stop talking." It was hilarious.
At the personal history part, an extra nurse came in and said congrats, you'll learn more about the twins next appt with your Dr, etc...She asks some general question and I say, "I actually have only ever been seen by midwives and I was going to see them again this time, but I just couldn't feel settled about it." She responds, "Wow! A mother's intuition!" I say, "Well..DIVINE intervention!" TRULY.
I just couldn't stop grinning and giggling. Been giggling all day.
Telling my Mom was the BEST EVER. She is at Cami's helping with the new babe, HolliMae and I FaceTime and got her to be with Cami. As she headed downstairs I said, "Mom, we're trying to remember, this is grandchild #15, right?" "Yes," she says. "Well we actually thought we should make that 15 AND 16!" Commence screaming, crying, yelling hilarity!!! Oh just a day full of love. I loved telling everyone.
I am amazed at Heavenly Father's goodness, mercy and love for me. Grateful to have been led by the Spirit and to have Him as a companion! So, so grateful. Today was a day from heaven.
17 March, 2015. Tuesday
Well. I'd not lie and say I'm not one to worry. I certainly am. Honestly with each pregnancy I've worried while Perris joked that we are having twins. But this time around the worry has been different.
First, I felt like my abdomen has already been expanding (I'm 9 weeks, 3 days), but chalked it up to it being my third pregnancy. And bloating.
Then, I found my dream birthplace. Having always used midwives and having non-medicated births, moving to Minnesota and having birth centers covered by insurance was AWE-SOME--and I was so excited about this one. Perris and I toured the facility last Wednesday and it was very nice. Immediately I saw they don't take multiple pregnancies on their handout and casually mentioned it to Perris with a wink. Finishing the tour (and seeing how significantly cheaper a pregnancy/birth here were), I just felt completely indecisive and left telling Perris, "I Just don't know...." I waited two days and decded that I could just make an appointment and see how it goes. Friday I called but they told me my insurance number was coming up invalid. I asked if I could call back later once I double checked the number (my internet wasn't connecting while on the phone with them), and they said "sure" but were closing and open Monday morning. Well, I checked that number Saturday and it was correct (!!??) So all weekend I worked and wondered why I felt so hesitant about this! I had even, the week before, asked friends what OB office they go to, called each one (and the hospital) for estimates on what they charge and knew going with an OB & hospital would be a significantly larger bill than dream birth center (+$10,000). And I mean, I compare which orange juice is cheaper bc I ain't got no extra $$.
Finally, Sunday I prayed and explained how I was feeling so hesitant and needed some peace with this decision. I felt more comfortable going to an OB, which was confusing. Monday morning, my eyes open and I think "Calling the OB feels best." So I called and appointment was made for Tuesday.
Twins have been on my brain. I made a jeopardy game for Relief Society and one question was to name 3 twins in our ward which ABOUNDS in twins...I stayed up late reading about twin births/pregnancies of women I don't even know on instagram...My sister has said "You know, either you or Lynds are going to have twins"...My friend calls me and casually says, "I was thinking 'why haven't one of those Whicker girls had twins yet?"...THIS MORNING I LOOKED UP HOW TWINS ARE FORMED...I mean--obsessed!
This, of course, has been accompanied by many self-talks of, "Ali. The likelihood of you having twins is so small. It's probably not happening." Over and over.
My mind hasn't really listened.
So today as I prepped for this appointment feeling like something either A. had to be wrong or B. I was having twins...But this morning I also prayed that I would receive comfort or something about the worry I was feeling. I sat down o read my scriptures 20 minutes before the we left the house for the babysitter/appointment. 3 Nephi 13: 25-24.
Somewhere between v 25-26 ("...Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on...Behold the fowls of the air, for they sow not, neither do they reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them Are ye not much better than they?") I started crying. I knew what was coming next. Here was this sweet, tender mercy, telling me that He will take care of us. He will provide--we seek Him FIRST. I finished and felt grateful for such a peaceful perspective setter before I left for what I really didn't know (But felt something) would be a life-changing afternoon.
Perris arrives with me at the office but had to take a work call before he could join. The ultrasound tech comes to get me and I tell the ladies to please let my husband join me when he arrives. I go back, lay down, jelly on belly, and once the wand is out, my eyes are glued to that monitor. I'm waiting to see what is in store!
She puts that stick straight down and I immediately see two blurbs and start to speak, but stop when she moves it to black space. I didn't want to react too soon to the confirmation of my worry. Then she's back to those two blurbs and she says, "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" WELL my mouth opened to respond and didn't shut for the next 1.5 hours that I was in that office. "YES!! OH MY GOSH!"
"I KNEW I was having twins!!?
"I can't believe this!"
"I can't wait to tell my MOTHER!"
"I was just about to ask you how often you find twins"
"OH MY GOSH!"
"THIS IS SO FUNNY!"
"I can't BELIEVE IT!"
"Hello, Sweet babies!!"
(my voice is getting louder and louder)
2 minutes pass and the door opens. I turn and yell, "PERRIS THERE ARE ACTUALLY TWO!!!!!"
His eyes pop and he says "No Way!! Are you serious!" (And that was the extent of P's reaction. He returned to his cool-as-a-cucumber normal self quickly). The door was still open as I'm yelling this. Everyone heard.
I'm told: Identical twins. Twin B measuring 9weeks; 178 heart rate. Twin A measuring 8w6d; 168 heart rate. "They look really good"
She gives us 3 photos and we head back to the waiting room to wait for the nurse to get my medical history. I look at the 2 receptionists and say, "We are having twins and you're the first to know!" And I did not shut up for the 10 minutes we waited. There was one other lady in the waiting room with us and I said, "I'm sorry, but I cannot stop talking." It was hilarious.
At the personal history part, an extra nurse came in and said congrats, you'll learn more about the twins next appt with your Dr, etc...She asks some general question and I say, "I actually have only ever been seen by midwives and I was going to see them again this time, but I just couldn't feel settled about it." She responds, "Wow! A mother's intuition!" I say, "Well..DIVINE intervention!" TRULY.
I just couldn't stop grinning and giggling. Been giggling all day.
Telling my Mom was the BEST EVER. She is at Cami's helping with the new babe, HolliMae and I FaceTime and got her to be with Cami. As she headed downstairs I said, "Mom, we're trying to remember, this is grandchild #15, right?" "Yes," she says. "Well we actually thought we should make that 15 AND 16!" Commence screaming, crying, yelling hilarity!!! Oh just a day full of love. I loved telling everyone.
I am amazed at Heavenly Father's goodness, mercy and love for me. Grateful to have been led by the Spirit and to have Him as a companion! So, so grateful. Today was a day from heaven.
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